5 Things Missouri Men Should Never Give Their Wife on Mothers Day

I will admit that I'm not a great gift giver, so perhaps I shouldn't be the one giving tips on what you should or shouldn't give your wife for Mother's Day. However, now that I think about it, I really am an example of things you should never give your wife if you're a Missouri man like I am.

Consider this a teachable moment. I have been the poster child for "don't" much of my life. (Editor's Note: massive understatement) This is one of those times. I was born and raised in Missouri and have more than a little redneck in my blood which probably contributes to my lack of sensitivity when it comes to the ways of the modern woman.

I'm not saying I've actually given these gifts to my Missouri wife for Mother's Day, but I've at least considered them at some point.

In my defense, she said she thought we should have a better mower, but perhaps Mother's Day wasn't the time to pick one up 20/20 hindsight being what it is.

This was a real mistake. I truly didn't mean it as a "you really should clean the house better", but that's kind of how it appeared. Hey, the Dyson vacuums are fancy and nice though.

You've really got to be careful about messaging. My wife already works out so I thought better equipment would be swell. However, on Mother's Day, it really comes across as a man telling a woman to lose weight. Dead man walking. 

You want video games because video games are fun. You buy her video games for Mother's Day because you know she won't use them and then you can. Bad decisions everywhere.

Hey, I had no idea those rings and bracelets were made for little girls. Wait. I mean a man would have no idea if rings and bracelets were meant for little girls or teenagers. Mistakes happen, but happy Mother's Day anyway.

It's the thought (even a bad one) that counts.