5 Things You Absolutely Have to Accept if You Move to Missouri
I'm not a fan of unsolicited advice. That being said, if you've arrived here I'm assuming it's because you're either considering to move to Missouri or about to take the plunge. As someone who was born and raised in the Show Me State, I think I'm somewhat qualified to share 5 things you absolutely have to accept if you've chosen to live among us.
First of all, welcome. I've always been a fan of being neighborly, so consider this my virtual handshake and high-five to you on choosing Missouri as your destination. I know you may have heard stories that spooked you about how scary me and my people can be, but relax. It'll all be alright...if you accept the following "facts".
5. Don't get mad if someone says Missour-ah instead of Missouri.
The University of Missouri says that both pronunciations are right. I say Missouri, but I also have those I grew up with that say "ah" at the end. The proper Missouri way to say it started with the French people who used to be here originally, but don't go looking down if some say Missour-ah. Sometimes our mouths get tired here. Fact.
4. It is required that you at least smile favorably at our sports teams meaning the St. Louis Cardinals, St. Louis Blues and Kansas City Chiefs.
Yes, there are a few Royals fans that lurk in the shadows, but we don't invite them to our BBQ's unless they're the ones bringing the BBQ. Royals fans rock the BBQ. Fact.
3. There is no such thing as the Arkansas Ozarks.
The Ozarks are all Missouri's. Yes, technically there are some areas that dip down into Razorback country, but "The Ozarks" are in Missouri. It's just a matter of time before we annex the pretty part of Arkansas so get used to it.
2. If you make eye contact with a stranger, you must nod or wave.
Don't make it awkward. Just a quick nod or slow raise of your hand will do. Exaggerated waving is not encouraged as it might be better to act like you didn't make eye contact. We do appreciate polite neighborly behavior though.
1. You will never change us, so don't even think of trying
Most of the immigrants that populated Missouri way back when were of German, Italian and/or Irish heritage. What does that mean? We're as stubborn as the day is long. You likely came to Missouri because you thought you'd like it here. That's great. If by some chance you've relocated from California and think you're gonna make us think like Berkeley folks, guess again.
BONUS - If someone says "M-I-Z", you respond "Z-O-U". It's the law.