Behold! The Hannibal Missouri Ugly Christmas Sweater

If this isn’t a thing, it should be. Ugly Christmas Sweater season is upon us, and there are several different directions you can go when seeking out a winner this year.

Do you need to revamp your Ugly Christmas Sweater game?

You can seek out the most authentic traditional Ugly Christmas Sweater with the appropriate snowflakes, snowmen, sleighs, and clashing color schemes. This is always a solid choice. You could also go kitschy, with tie-ins to recognizable Christmas character images. Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, Santa and the elves, the Grinch, or you could dance on the blasphemous line with an image of baby Jesus, or the three wise men, maybe the little drummer boy. The more subversive, the more garish, the more attention you’ll get.

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A winning approach has become a similar idea to that of Halloween costumes. Flex on local themes and images. A local, recognizable personality, a tie in with local history and brands. Yes, you could employ those local things subversively too, but you might step over the line, at which point the local angle backfires.

Let America's Hometown dance across your Ugly Christmas Sweater!

I asked Google’s A.I. to list off what should be included in a Hannibal, Missouri stylized Christmas Sweater. The answers from artificial intelligence included Mark Twain (in a Santa hat), a riverboat being pulled by reindeer, and catfish and fireworks. All of these seemed like hilarious winners, so I had A.I. render images. Now that I’ve seen them, they should definitely be made and sold. There are places that will customize your Ugly Christmas Sweater ideas. Which historic downtown Hannibal store might carry these? Is there a Hannibal, Missouri angle I (or I guess A.I.) missed?